Put up your fences -Setting Boundaries at Work

"Good fences make good neighbours."
– Old Proverb

Fences allow you to protect what's valuable to you. They also allow you to control who and what enters your space.

In the workplace, setting boundaries helps establish a productive work environment. You – and everyone you work with – have different values, needs, and beliefs about what's right. These differences can lead to conflict, resentment, anger, anxiety, and stress.

Does your colleague like last-minute deadlines and working under pressure, but you like to plan ahead and have everything finished early? You can do things your colleague's way (and end up stressed) – or you can recognize what you need to be effective, and then ask for it.

Do you have a colleague who yells and screams when she's under stress? Does this behaviour upset you? Then you owe it to yourself to say something to her, so that she understands the negative impact she's having on other people.

This is called managing your boundaries. It's an assertive and responsible way to make sure others respect your needs, while you respect theirs.

By taking the time to understand and map your boundaries, you will.

• Be able to say no to requests that conflict with your needs.
• Better understand how to deal with conflict, directly and assertively.
• Increase your personal sense of empowerment.

Boundary management is essentially a three-step process:

1. Becoming aware of your needs.
2. Setting your boundaries.
3. Monitoring your boundaries.

Step One: Become Aware of Your Needs

• Do you sometimes doubt that you have a right to ensure your needs are met?
• Do you avoid speaking up for yourself on a regular basis, and do you let things go, and not react to bad situations?
• Do you tend to avoid conflict? Do you let others have their way or make decisions for you?
• Do you agree to do things that you really don't want to do – and later regret it?

These are all signs that you don't actively try to have your needs met – and that you haven't established your boundaries.

Some of us seem to have the persistent and questionable belief that to get along with others, we need to give much more than we take. We may think that asking for what we want is selfish, that it's not good team behaviour. So we may say things like "Whatever you choose will be great!" and we may agree to do things we don't want to do, and shouldn't have to do.

This is a great strategy for avoiding conflict and confrontation with others. Unfortunately, it can create a destructive conflict inside of you. You can build up anger and tension – because you give away your power and you're not getting what you need. Eventually, this tension and anger can become too great, and you won't be able to tolerate it anymore.

It's far better to become aware of what you need, and then to develop strategies to ensure that your needs are met appropriately.

Whether or not you acknowledge your needs, they're often met anyway – though not necessarily in a good way. For example, if you need structure and you're not getting it, you might create charts and graphs and schedules for everything – but your team mates may hate this. If you need to be liked, you might avoid conflict at all costs – but this could allow people to make poor decisions. It's not constructive to try to satisfy your needs in this way – and it may lead to much greater problems in the long run.

The most obvious way to become aware of your needs is to think of times when you felt angry, tense, or resentful – or times when you were embarrassed by your reaction to something. These can be signs that your needs were not met.

Remember when you experienced these feelings and had these reactions, and ask yourself these questions:

• What need or value was not honoured by others?
• What did you really want?

Then complete the following phrases:

• I have a right to ask for ________, because I need ________.
• It's OK to protect my time by________, because I need ________.
• I will not allow others to________, because I need ________.

Step Two: Set Your Boundaries

When you understand what you need to be happy, that's only the first part of the process. You must also let others know what you need. Your colleagues, peers, and friends can't always figure this out on their own. You have to tell them (and remind them) of your needs and your boundaries.

Follow these guidelines:

• Be assertive – Communicate assertively. Tell people what you need, and work with them to reach solutions that can satisfy everyone. Without assertiveness, you risk allowing other people's needs to come first.
• Learn to say no, when appropriate – If you say yes to everything, you risk not having enough time to do anything properly. You also risk not working on the things that are truly important. Use an urgent/important sift to determine your priorities and understand your roles and responsibilities.
  
• Use effective time management – A big part of setting boundaries is making time for your work and time for personal interests. When you put all your energy into only one thing, you risk burning out and not enjoying life. With good time management, you can get things done more efficiently.  . This can help you work less and play more!
• Focus on your objectives – Getting what you want takes commitment. Setting boundaries isn't always easy, so maintain a strong focus on your overall objectives.Good goal setting Strategies will help you achieve this.

Step Three: Monitor Your Boundaries

When you start to set boundaries, it will help you enjoy an immediate sense of empowerment and control. It's a great feeling – knowing that you can ask for what you need, and then get it.

It's also important that boundaries are not completely fixed or unchangeable: Sometimes life needs a certain amount of flexibility. Rigid, inflexible boundaries may get in the way of your needs – because your needs can change, depending on the situation.

If you're very disciplined with your time, this likely improves your productivity. But if a project needs you to work well with a colleague, you may not want to end your meeting with him at the scheduled time if you need to build that relationship.

Make sure the boundaries you set are appropriate, and be willing to make changes, depending on the situation.

Also, keep in mind that while you may set up an imaginary fence around you, this doesn't mean that you don't have any responsibility for what happens outside your boundaries. You can say no when you're asked to take on more work, but you can still help find someone else to do that work. You can delegate a task to someone, but you're still responsible for the outcome.

Remember, boundaries are a way to help you work more effectively with others. They're not meant to keep you completely separate and apart from others. 

Thanks to Mind Tools 

For more great careers advice and support on how to get paid more, promoted faster and feel more satisfied go to www.maryhopecareersuccess.com

Related articles

• Boundaries checklist for healthy relationships

If you like me repeat what i say! being effective in meetings

Getting your message across in a meeting can be a real challenge. Often it is hard to get into the conversation and then your idea may not be picked up. Skillful influencers can have a few tricks up their sleeves.

• Firstly you might want to warm the attendees up a little before the meeting. Make sure that whoever is chairing it is clear that you will be presenting an idea. Get them to give you the platform to speak. If the person in charge gives you the space people will be more likely to listen to you.
• Have your arguments ready. Know what it is that you want to say and be clear and direct
• Anticipate the objections.. this is easier if you knw the people around the table, but even if you don't you can guess at what others might think of your idea and you can pre-empt their arguments before they voice them.
• Find allies in advance, win people over before the meeting
• Take a friend with you! what can the friend do? they can repeat your idea back to the group.
• Researchers have found that hearing the same thing twice is sufficient for participants to alter recall the idea as the main agenda or theme for the meeting, regardless of who brought it up. 
• So if at first no-one picks up your idea; say it again.. get someone else to repeat it and you could be in for making a powerful impact!
  
  for more help, expertise and advice on developing your career success visit: www.maryhopecareersuccess.com

Professionalism - Developing this Vital Characteristic

Professionalism

Developing this Vital Characteristic

You know that it's essential to be professional if you want to be a success. But what does "being professional" actually mean?

For some, being professional might mean dressing smartly at work, or doing a good job. For others, being professional means having advanced degrees or other certifications, framed and hung on the office wall.

Professionalism encompasses all of these definitions. But, it also covers much more. So, what is professionalism, and why does it matter? And how can you be completely professional in your day-to-day role?

In this article we'll explore all of these questions, so that you can present a really professional image in the workplace

Defining Professionalism

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines professionalism as "the conduct, aims, or qualities that characterize or mark a profession or a professional person"; and it defines a profession as "a calling requiring specialized knowledge and often long and intensive academic preparation."

These definitions imply that professionalism encompasses a number of different attributes, and, together, these attributes identify and define a professional.

So, what are these attributes?

Specialized Knowledge

First and foremost, professionals are known for their specialized knowledge. They've made a deep personal commitment to develop and improve their skills, and, where appropriate, they have the degrees and certifications that serve as the foundation of this knowledge.

Not all business areas have a stable core of knowledge (and the academic qualifications that go with this); not all areas demand extensive knowledge to practice successfully; and not all professionals have top degrees in their field.

What matters, though, is that these professionals have worked in a serious, thoughtful and sustained way to master the specialized knowledge needed to succeed in their fields; and that they keep this knowledge up-to-date, so that they can continue to deliver the best work possible.

Competency

Professionals get the job done. They're reliable, and they keep their promises. If circumstances arise that prevent them from delivering on their promises, they manage expectations up front, and they do their best to make the situation right.

Professionals don't make excuses, but focus on finding solutions.

Honesty and Integrity

Professionals exhibit qualities such as honesty and integrity They keep their word, and they can be trusted implicitly because of this. They never compromise their values, and will do the right thing, even when it means taking a harder road.

More than this, true professionals are humble  – if a project or job falls outside their scope of expertise, they're not afraid to admit this. They immediately ask for help when they need it, and they're willing to learn from others.

Accountability

Professionals hold themselves accountable for their thoughts, words, and actions, especially when they've made a mistake. This personal accountability is closely tied to honesty and integrity, and it's a vital element in professionalism.

Self-Regulation

They also stay professional under pressure.

For instance, imagine a customer service employee who's faced with an irate customer. Instead of getting upset or angry in return, the employee exhibits true professionalism by maintaining a calm, business-like demeanour, and by doing everything that she can to make the situation right.

Genuine professionals show respect for the people around them, no matter what their role or situation. They exhibit a high degree of  emotional intelligence by considering the emotions and needs of others, and they don't let a bad day impact how they interact with colleagues or clients.

Image

Professionals look the part – they don't show up to work sloppily dressed, with unkempt hair. They're polished, and they dress appropriately for the situation. Because if this, they exude an air of confidence, and they gain respect for this.

How to Exhibit Professionalism

As you can see from these characteristics, professionals are the kind of people that others respect and value. They are a genuine credit to their organizations!

This is why it's so important that we work to earn a professional reputation in the workplace. True professionals are the first to be considered for promotions, they are awarded valuable projects or clients, and they are routinely successful in their careers.

Now that you have a clear view of what constitutes professionalism, are you demonstrating these characteristics to the people around you? It's likely you're already showing some characteristics, but you may find yourself lacking in others: to build your own professionalism, focus on improving each of these characteristics. (Focus on one at a time, so you don't get overwhelmed.)

Additionally, here are some further strategies that will help you be more professional in the workplace:

Build Expertise

Don't let your knowledge and skills get outdated. Make a commitment to build expertise and stay up to date within your industry

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Professionals can sense the emotional needs of others. They're able to give clients and coworkers what they need, because they know how to listen actively and observe what's happening.

So, if you want to improve your professionalism, focus on developing emotional intelligence.

Honour Your Commitments

Whenever you make a promise to your boss, colleagues, or clients, keep it. If it looks as if you won't be able to meet a deadline, let your boss, team or client know as soon as sensibly possible. However, do what you can to avoid ending up in this situation!

Don't make excuses – instead, focus on meeting expectations as best you can, and on making the situation right.

Be Polite

Be kind and polite and use good manners to everyone you come into contact with, no matter what their role is, and no matter how you're feeling. This might sound unimportant, but it makes a significant impact.

Have the Tools You Need

Do you show up to a client meeting lacking important samples? Or arrive at work, only to realize that you left a vital file at home? Or do you find yourself operating in situations where you don't have the skills needed to do a good job?

True professionals are always prepared. This requires advance planning, timeliness, and attention. Focus on improving your time management and planning skills, so that you're always in control.

Note:
Although professionalism means keeping commitments, doing high quality work, and having expert status, occasionally the pursuit of these attributes might tempt you not to volunteer for projects that fall outside your "comfort zone."

However, this doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't try!  Analyse risks beforehand to minimize the consequences of getting things wrong, be honest about any skills gaps that you have, and work to fill them. Then do the best you possibly can!

Key Points

Professionalism is a trait that's highly valued in the workforce. It has many attributes, including:

1. Specialized knowledge.
2. Competency.
3. Honesty and integrity.
4. Respect.
5. Accountability.
6. Self-regulation.
7. Image.

To improve your own professionalism, focus on improving in each of these areas.

You can also exude professionalism by being kind and polite to everyone, presenting a professional image in your attitude and dress, and showing up for work or meetings fully prepared.

Thanks to Mind Tools.com for this gem.

3 Great ways to solve a problem...part 1

 Strategy 1 - sleep on it
Last night I was trying to do my Christmas mailer, but could I get the programme to do what I wanted? can I fly?  The format was all rubbish and the lines of text too long and…  and… and…..
I was getting so angry and cross and worked up. Then I ran out of time so rushed off to rehearsals, came home and went to bed. Woke up this morning with an image in my head of a little box at the bottom of the page which says ‘wrap text’ and the fact that I had unchecked it. Oh yes so easy.. into the mail programme and checked the box and hey presto it looked much better.
Now for those of you that received it, it was not the greatest but I did solve the problem. How.. switched off the conscious brain and let the power of the subconscious crack the code. Whilst I was getting so cross and angry there was just too much static in the brain; whilst I was relaxed and asleep… no static and up comes the answer.

So when you are struggling to see a solution .. just relax and sleep on it, as my mum used to say 'all better in the morning'.

What will work be like in the future?

ILM's futurologist's predictions – could the following be coming to an office near you?

• Artificial intelligence – towards the end of the decade, computer-based intelligence will provide much of the effort in many jobs. Employees will concentrate more on the human aspects of their work, which are harder to automate.Love one another....
• Visors & 3D immersion – semi-transparent visors are coming soon and some of these will enable a fully immersive 3d experience, with a separate display in front of each eye. Together with fingertip tracking and gesture recognition, this will give a whole new interface to our computing, even with virtual keyboards.
• Augmented reality – the convergence of the virtual and physical worlds. Enabling superposition of graphics everywhere we go will give marketers, games manufacturers, retailers, fashion designers, architects and social network designers a whole new platform to play with.
• Restructuring – company structures are changing rapidly and this trend will accelerate as the web matures, automation increases, skill shortages increase, and global labour costs change, all in parallel with changing regulation.So we will all be waiting til 67 for a pension but with no work to do?
• Miniaturisation – today's IT will reduce in size potentially to digital jewellery and smart dust. This is good for sustainability, requiring far less physical resource for the same functionality and quality of life value.That sounds good, but a phone implanted in my skull? maybe not
• Cordless Energy – as well as wireless comms, tomorrow's electronic devices will almost all be cordless for power too. thank god i say, no more trailing wires or running out of power!
  
  How will you cope?

Thanks to the Institute of Leadership and Management.

How much would you pay to look the part of 'highly successful executive'?

Ladies – STOP WASTING MONEY ON CLOTHES

Wardrobe Re-Vamp End of Year Offer – Not To Be Missed

A couple of days ago I was advised that someone had paid £1000 for a Wardrobe Re-Vamp days!

How does that sound to you? A lot? Worth it?

Yes, I had pretty much that reaction too!

But let me tell you the story behind this.

I was talking to a businessman that I trust and admire and he mentioned that he had paid £1000 for a similar service for his wife earlier this year. Not sure how well it worked.

But there is someone who can re-vamp your wardrobe.. make you look the part and save you money in the long run but without that price tag!

Make the most of the opportunity to save money – forever – on clothes that don’t flatter your shape or enhance the professional, stylish image you portray.

After all – first impressions count – for a lot!

She's called Sue Courteney and comes to your house and assess your body shape – then you try on every item of clothing you have.The sessions typically take 4 to 6 hours.

 

Some items will be great – keepers.

Some items will be great if worn differently, altered, mended or otherwise made to look different.

Some items will just have to go – with me to the charity shop or charity bank. Yes Sue takes them away, that day! so you can't offend again...

You will be left with a wardrobe of clothes that you will look great in – they will flatter your shape, colouring and work for your life.

She then goes home and puts all your notes – body shape, style tips, what to buy list etc – into a book so you have your own, personal, handy guide in a form that you can keep referring to.

So if you, or anyone you know, has ever opened the door of their full-to-bursting wardrobe and sighed “I’ve got nothing to wear!” Then this service is exactly what is needed.

And all this not for that huge sum but a very very reasonable, time limited offer of  £350

£350 is a bargain when you think of how much you will save over time (or maybe one shopping trip) in clothes that don’t work for you.

Don’t delay – email  and BOOK TODAY!

sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk

N.B. This offer is valid for women in UK only

£19b down the drain becasue of bad management

Bad management could be costing UK businesses more than £19 billion in lost working hours every year, according to a survey published today by the Chartered Management Institute (CMI).
The CMI's report suggests that three-quarters of employees waste almost two hours of their working time every week because of their managers' inefficiency.
The CMI claims that, by taking the average hours wasted in a week across the average working time of 48 weeks per year, this equates to a loss of £900 per employee and a total loss of £19.3 billion, calculated at a median value rate.
The report found that the worst management practices include unclear communication, lack of support, micro-management and lack of direction.
Christopher Kinsella, CMI acting chief executive, said: "This survey highlights some disappointing - but not necessarily surprising - numbers. With only one in five UK managers holding a professional management qualification and many organisations not properly investing in management training, it's not surprising that some managers are making mistakes in how they work.
"Yet we are in one of the hardest economic climates we've faced in some time, and business bosses need to understand the financial impacts of not having properly trained and qualified managers. Improving the skills of the management workforce is absolutely key in terms of individual business success, in terms of delivering effective public services and in terms of helping the UK deliver on a world stage."
The research also found that 13% of respondents have witnessed managers exhibiting discriminatory behaviour towards employees based on gender, race, age or sexual orientation and almost one-third have witnessed managers bullying or harassing their employees.
Responding to the findings, Ashley Ward, director at talent management organisation European Leaders, said: "Reality tells us the cost of bad management in terms of time lost is a great deal more than that indicated in today's CMI report. A great deal of time is lost as employees discuss the lack of communication from, and the behaviours of, management.
"An efficient working culture stems directly from the very top of an organisation. If a business leader actively promotes a happy work culture based on openness, transparency, good communications and gender diversity, the organisation will be far closer to the top of its game and employees will view it as a good company to work for. The successful high-growth organisations we see today all train their managers to have increased awareness of subjects like bullying and gender discrimination.
"In our experience, the 'macho' management style of the 80s and 90s no longer has a place in modern high-performing businesses. The aggressive approach we see on programmes like The Apprentice and Dragons' Den is incongruous with modern entrepreneurship."

Thanks to Personnel Today for this one.